Brady Bunch Macbeth

BRADY BUNCH MACBETH

 

THUNDERSTORM STARTS…. WHICH IS FOLLOWED BY THE CACKLING OF THE WITCHES and their entrance.

 

THEME SONG – BRADY BUNCH SONG – The MacBeth Bunch

 

Here’s the story
Of a lovely lady
A bit obsessed with making her man king
They’d drug guards and they’d stab monarchs
they would do anything!

It’s the story
Of the king of Scotland
Who was busy with guilt and with remorse
He takes out one of his old friends
Whose sons escape by horse

 

Then the king proceeded on a reign of terror
It was almost like watching Game of Thrones
But just like those witches told him
He buys the farm at home

 

And there’s other stuff like ghosts and bloody daggers
Queens sleepwalking, there’s treachery and gore
There are witches, and there’s treason
So who could ask for more?

The MacBeth bunch, the MacBeth bunch
That’s the way we became the STOP SAYING IT! Bunch

 

FIRST WITCH

Hi, I’m Marcia

 

SECOND WITCH

And I’m Jan

 

THIRD WITCH

And I’m Cindy!

 

QUEEN

Get on with it!

 

FIRST WITCH
When shall we three meet again?

In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

 

SECOND WITCH

When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the battle’s lost and won.

 

THIRD WITCH

That will be ere the set of sun.

 

ALL
Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Hover through the fog and filthy air.

 

NARR 1/Mike Brady

Hi, I’m Mike. And good morrow to you all. Today we are here to bring you the tale of a lovely lady. My wife, Carol.

 

(NARR 2/Carol Brady enters & waves)

 

And her tale of woe, that of Juliet and

 

PLAYERS

Romeo.

 

QUEEN

Wrong play. Bring me the head of Alredo Garcia. Or better yet – whose head do I want?

 

PLAYERS (enter tentatively, weakly shout out, then turn around 3 times and spit)

Macbeth.

 

NARR 2 (joins Narr 1)

So you know that the play has begun when you hear these words.

 

[1] WHEN SHALL WE THREE MEET AGAIN?

 

(Pause, witches remain) Get off the stage.

 

This is probably the most famous first line in any Shakespeare play.

 

NARR 1

Soon after, we meet King Duncan and the bloody captain, and we hear about Macbeth’s fierceness in battle. [2]

 

… UNSEAMED HIM FROM THE NAVE TO THE CHOPS

 

NARR 2

The witches run into Macbeth himself and Banquo [3],

 

HAIL! HAIL! HAIL!

 

and they predict the future. [4]

 

YOU SHALL BE KING!

 

NARR 1

They give Banquo the more permanent prediction. (the gesture to cutting off his head)

 

NARR 2

Macbeth is excited about this even so and writes about it to his wife. [5]

 

HE BRINGS GREAT NEWS

 

NARR 1
Lady Macbeth likes this letter— and the idea of being king is so good, why not help it along? They talk; Macbeth has second thoughts. Lady Macbeth says [6].

 

SCREW YOUR COURAGE TO THE STICKING PLACE

 

NARR 2

Macbeth says [7].

 

I GO AND IT IS DONE

 

The deed is done. Duncan is dead.

Very early the next morning, there is a noise at the gate. (no response, repeat LOUDER)

Very early the next morning, there is a noise at the gate. [8]

 

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

 

NARR 1

It’s Macduff arriving to wake up Duncan. [9]

 

O HORROR, HORROR, HORROR!

 

Everyone in the castle learns that Duncan has been murdered.  Macbeth says [10].

 

‘TWAS A ROUGH NIGHT!

 

NARR 2
Banquo says [11].

 

SAY IT IS NOT SO!

 

NARR 1

Lady Macbeth says [12].

 

WHAT, IN OUR HOUSE?

 

NARR 2

Malcolm and Donalbain, Duncan’s sons, say [13]

 

LET US AWAY!

 

-and they run away to England.

 

NARR 1

Things go from bad to worse.  Macbeth murders Banquo [14].

 

O TREACHERY! FLY … FLY, FLY, FLY!

 

NARR 2

Then he consults the witches for more information [15].

 

MACBETH! MACBETH! MACBETH! BEWARE MACDUFF!

 

NARR 1

Then he has the wife and children of Macduff murdered [16].

 

THOU SHAG-EARED VILLAIN!

 

NARR 2

Meanwhile, Malcolm and Donalbain are in England gathering an army [17].

 

OUR POWER IS READY.

And things get even worse for the Macbeths [18].

 

THE QUEEN, MY LORD, IS DEAD.

 

Right about this point, look for an amazing battle in which Macduff says [19]

 

TURN, HELLHOUND, TURN!

 

NARR 1

and Macbeth says [20].

 

LAY ON, MACDUFF!

 

NARR 2

And soon after that, look for a brand-new king [21].

 

HAIL, KING OF SCOTLAND

 

THEME SONG PLAYS OUT

 

The MacBeth bunch, the MacBeth bunch
That’s the way we became the STOP SAYING IT! Bunch